Skylar's Journal

[Japanator]

Spring
Four Days After Attacks End

I'm in California, I think. Or what used to be California. I don't think they call it that now. They call this place the Coastal Camp.

I'm terrified.

I have this horrible feeling, like I cheated death and it's going to catch up with me any moment now. I was supposed to die on that plane; I just know it. How am I alive? Worse, I have no idea where Mom and Dad are. I feel terrible about not looking for them, for not finding them before I left for the west coast. I never even went by the house... I'm a terrible daughter.

I feel like everyone wants to tell me who they were before the attacks. Maybe they're just afraid they will forget their past. I don't care; I don't like talking about it. I get this panicky feeling whenever anyone mentions it and I just want to hide under the covers like when I was a kid and hum a happy song. Whenever someone mentions the attacks, it's like I'm back in that plane from Paris. I can see it all over again. I can see it now...

I have to get busy with something. I need a distraction. I want to have a normal conversation. I want to laugh again! It feels like years since I've laughed...but it was only days ago.

[Japanator]

Summer
Three Weeks After Attacks

I haven't written in a while. That's really only because nothing had changed. I didn't feel like it was worth an update. I'm writing now because something has changed. I met a guy. Not like that...well, maybe like that. His name is Kyle Hyssop. He's nice, and he makes me laugh again. Maybe that's why I want to be with him right now; he awoke something in me. He brought back the laughter. I met him here at the camp, and we went to the beach. It was a wreck but we found a little pool and well, I had fun!

We're supposed to meet again tomorrow. We're going to clean up the beach. See? He's unselfish, and he's going to spend the day cleaning! He's a great guy. I don't know if there are feelings there, but I know I like spending time with him.

There is a down side. I know I'm going to die soon; it's inevitable, right? So why waste time falling for this guy? Why even spend time on a friendship that can only end with one of us six feet under? I'm going to die, and Kyle will be hurt.

Still...I can't help it.